about my birthday.

hello, i am at work and not liking it. i have resigned already, but my last day of work is on july 16th. i can't wait to be out of this office.

i've been thinking lately that i don't want to have any kind of birthday celebrations because i don't have many friends around and if i decide to do something, and then someone cannot make it, it will mean that it's going to be me practically on my own, singing happy birthday and feeling fucking depressed.

since i moved to europe, all my birthdays have been shit. in paris, because i was generally unhappy; in england, because i still haven't made many friends. yes, i do know that i should go out and try to make friends. but since mid 2007 my self-confidence has been none. why? long story. bottom line is: although i wasn't shy before, i am now.

i don't know what i want.